Whale Shark!

Whenever the dive boat goes out, we keep an eye on the open ocean looking for signs of whale sharks. Whale sharks eat teeny tiny shrimp called krill. As they chase them to the surface, the tiny fish follow since they also eat krill. The bigger tuna chase after the tiny fish and everything splashing around on the surface attracts the frigate birds who try to swoop down and catch the krill and fish as they’re chased up. When there are frigate birds circling and tuna jumping, we can be fairly well assured there’s a whale shark in the vicinity.

Yesterday we came up from our first morning dive and saw 6 dive boats north of us, all stationary in the same small area with a cloud of birds circling above them. One of the dive boats left the group with a girl in a bikini standing in the bow making two motions over and over again as they drove past us: arms spread wide and then a hand on her forehead like a fin. Arms wide, hand like a fin, arms wide, hand like a fin.

Big Shark. Big Shark. Big Shark.

Da Bull took one look at her, grinned and said “whale shark.” Oh man, there’s nothing like those two words to get a whole boatload of people totally excited. Unfortunately, we didn’t have enough gas to get out that far and also get back to the shop so we opted to go back to the shop, gas up the boat and go back. Once at the shop, everyone scrambled off the boat, threw their wet gear in a heap, grabbed a snorkel and ran back to the boat.

Our boat captain drove like a madman but despite his fast and furious driving skills, we saw the dive boats leaving as we headed back. We held out hope that the shark would still be there but even the birds were dispersing. We circled around, watched the birds flock together and followed them from place to place until 5 minutes later we saw more tuna jumping. Our captain gunned it, we headed for the tuna and then saw a big black fin pop up and go back down. He stopped the boat, we all jumped overboard but we were 3 seconds too late because only two people in the group saw a giant shadow of the shark as it descended into the deep.

By this point we had to get back to the shop to set up for the next dive. So, we piled back in the boat and headed back to the shop chattering about whale sharks and whether it counted as a sighting to have only seen a fin.

The 11:30 dive only had 2 people signed up and I got on it just in case the shark was still out there. Da Bull chose a dive site close to the shark sighting and 4 of us went out. We had a lovely chill dive until the very end during our safety stop when we heard our boat motor gunning above us. Our captain pulled a donut over our bubbles, put a tank in the water and smacked it and Da Bull looked at me, smiled around his regulator, stretched his arms out wide and then put his hand on his forehead like a fin.

Big Shark.

The second our 3 minutes were up we broke the surface and our captain said “Shark. Hurry.” We jumped in the boat and saw giant splashes of tuna on the horizon. As he slowed down the boat, right in the middle of the splashing fish, Cindy looked off the side of the boat, shrieked and pointed about 10 feet away “Right there! Right there!”

Just under the surface of the water was a giant black shadow. I slipped off the side of the boat, put my face in the water and the most massive thing I’ve ever seen in the water slid right towards me. Easily 30 feet, almost 3x the length of our boat, his body was black with yellow spots and I couldn’t have put my arms around even half of his head. He slowly, quietly swam towards me with his giant head and mouth stretched into a smile, then about 5 feet away he dipped down underneath me and I turned and watched as he sailed right away from us.

I looked at Da Bull and we shot through the surface as he shook both fists in the air “Yes!!! That was Awesome!!” I couldn’t even catch my breath I was so stunned and awed. I’ve never seen anything so quiet or so massive in the water in my whole life. Cindy shrieked, Elizabeth’s eyes were massive as she said “He smiled right at me and I thought, if he opens his mouth I’m going right in it!”

We came back to the shop and I wrote my facebook status:
Kaitlyn Barrett is WHALE SHARK! WHALE SHARK! WHALE SHARK!!!

Awesome. Amazing. Chevere. Never seen anything like it.

Dive Master Training: Problem Solving

Yesterday was a hot mess of a boat set up with lots of instructors telling me conflicting instructions and by the time the boat left, I was pissed off and ready to go home.

I hate being micromanaged and bossed around. It sucks. That’s the hardest thing about being a DMT at 40 instead of 26. 26 year olds are more accustomed to being talked down to and they handle it better. The one thing I wanted more than anything yesterday was to have someone say “Are you in the middle of something?” before they told me to do something else. I mean, if I’d been sitting at the table, hanging out and playing on my phone, by all means boss me around. But when I’m buried in the tank room, with fins under my arm, putting weights on a belt with a full tank standing in the doorway because I have to grab it on my way out the door, rest assured that I’m not just screwing around. I have an agenda and a purpose and probably a time limit because the boat is waiting for me so they can leave. And even then, at least ask me instead of telling me.

Today’s boat set up worked out much better and then we dove Hole in the Wall, which is a really deep dive, with a full boat and a couple different instructors leading different groups.

At the last minute, Da Bull put me with Rick, a new AOW student who historically had trouble with buoyancy and was what we call a “breather,” someone who goes through air really quickly and has to end every dive early. Under those two conditions, Rick was the worst case scenario for a deep dive with a lot of craggy swim thrus but he really wanted to do it and his instructor thought he’d be ok.

Da Bull took me aside and said “Rick is your responsibility. Keep an eye on him, help him manage his buoyancy, handle any problems that come up and when he runs low on air, do a safety stop and bring him up.” Babysitting customers who are breathers or have buoyancy issues or need some hand holding is a common assignment for DMTs in our shop so none of these instructions sounded like a problem.

From the beginning of this dive, Rick had a lot of trouble with buoyancy and he also had a tendency to charge forward and get separated from me. Normally I’d just keep an eye on him but there were a lot of single file swim thrus on this dive and I kept having to hold him back to keep him from separating other buddy teams or running into other divers. He finally calmed down a bit and did fine until the end of the dive when we were coming out of a swim thru and immediately going down into a cavern entrance and I held Rick back to keep him from running into other divers but by the time we got to the top of the swim thru, the group was gone.

I had never dove that profile on the dive and I didn’t know where the cavern entrance was, so I went the wrong direction and by the time we got to the top of the reef, there was no sight of anyone. We looked around for bubbles with no luck and then I had to make a choice. The rule if you’re separated from your buddy is you look around for one minute and then you do a safety stop and surface. If both divers do that, chances are good they’ll find each other on the surface. However, we were a buddy team and I’d been given responsibility for Rick and while I was pretty sure the same rules applied, it would mean Da Bull leaving his group in the cavern and surfacing to find us.

Fortunately we were really shallow by that point and I had a surface buoy. We both had plenty of air so we spent a few minutes looking around, figuring we couldn’t be that far off but after about 5 minutes I didn’t want to keep him down in a place where I wasn’t familiar and didn’t know how get out of. So I brought us up, our boat captain found us and we got on the boat and several minutes later, Da Bull came up with his group.

Da Bull and I talked afterwards and he emphasized that a separation like that also means a one minute look around and then surface. Da Bull had actually surfaced looking for us in case we were in real trouble but when he didn’t find us on the surface, he went back down to get the rest of his divers. He wasn’t angry because the last thing he remembered telling me was that I was responsible for Rick so when he didn’t see an emergency on the surface, he assumed I was taking responsibility. He also said that I couldn’t be expected to know the dive site since I’ve never dove that profile before and it was a bit tricky since there were just enough divers that we couldn’t see Da Bull at any point in those swim thrus.

I learned A LOT from this one experience.

I was proud that I didn’t panic and Da Bull seemed to think I’d made most of the right decisions under the circumstances. I felt bad for cheating Rick out of a longer dive but I opted to keep him safe over giving him a longer dive and I think that was the right choice. Had I to do it over again, I would have paid more attention to the map during the dive briefing so I knew where the cavern entrance was and I probably would have come up sooner and met Da Bull on the surface so he didn’t worry.

But no matter what, everyone came up and we can all dive again at a future point. At the end, that’s what matters.

Dive Master Training: Equipment Exchange

There’s nothing on the list of DMT requirements that scared me more than the equipment exchange, unless it’s the prospect of leading my first dive.

The Equipment Exchange goes as follows: in water too deep to stand, two people descend and exchange fins, mask and BCDs and then take a short swim together all the while buddy breathing.

Buddy breathing is an emergency technique where two divers share one regulator. One diver takes a breath and passes the regulator to the other. The second diver takes a breath and passes it back etc.

I did some buddy breathing during my Rescue Diver course and it was awful to be under water without a regulator in your mouth waiting for someone else to take a breath. Just a short swim around confined water passing the regulator back and forth made me anxious to the point where I wanted to rip it out of his mouth. And that was a non-emergent swim with nothing else going on.

Buddy breathing during the equipment exchange makes it a stress test pure and simple, because there’s no realistic scenario in which two people will exchange all their equipment under water. However, DMs and Rescue divers need to be able to handle stress and nothing gives you stress like not having an air source.

Additionally stressful is the fact that DMTs are only supposed to get 5 minutes to discuss strategy before undergoing equipment exchange so all important information like how many breaths each person will take, what’s the signal for “GIVE ME THE REG,” the order of the exchange and what to do if problems occur has to be agreed upon in 5 minutes.

I did this exchange with my fellow DMT, a European girl I call Betty Blue. We definitely got more than 5 minutes worth of strategy largely because it’s impossible to be in a shop full of DMs and former DMTs without hearing stories of their equipment exchanges and gleaning advice from their experience. We also needed more time to talk because Betty Blue doesn’t speak English as a first language so all verbal communication takes a little longer.

Here’s the advice we got from DMs that I’ll pass on to any future DMTs reading this post:

1. Go into the water wearing each other’s equipment so that you exchange into own gear. It makes the exchange much more comfortable.
2. Go down heavily overweighted. It will keep you stable in any current and keep you from getting knocked around as much.
3. Go as slowly as possible. This isn’t a timed test.

I was terrified of the prospect of this test and no amount of thinking about it or planning for it made it any better. When Betty Blue and I finally got into the water and got our 5 minutes to discuss strategy, we decided to exchange fins, then mask, then BCDs and we established a signal for “STOP” that either one of us would use if we were stressed. When the STOP signal was used, the other person had to immediately stop and we’d pass the regulator back and forth until we’d gotten enough air to be calm.

Despite our hopeful strategy, the first round was awful.

All I thought about was air. I started by sucking in two big breaths and handing the regulator to Betty Blue and then tried to take my fins off while exhaling. We got our fins exchanged but the pace got more and more frantic and I got more and more fixated on air. I breathed slower and deeper than Betty Blue so she’d already be tapping my hand for the reg before I even got my second breath. Then I’d started to panic a little and even as I handed it to her, I just wanted to snatch it away.

About 20 seconds in, Betty Blue got frazzled and passed me the regulator after exhaling. That meant she had no air in her lungs so she immediately wanted the reg back before I’d even gotten a chance to take a breath. I took half a breath and then she pulled the reg out of my hand and it was downhill from there. She took a breath, I needed the reg, she started freaking out, she handed the reg back to me, she tried to take her mask off and then shook her head and shot to the surface.

So, I sat on the bottom and waited. I couldn’t surface because if I surfaced and then we came back down and continued, the best score we could get was a 2. I had to sit there and wait and see if she came back down. But she didn’t. Finally, the Seal surfaced to check on her and she was crying and saying she couldn’t do it. The Seal tried to reason with her to no avail so he came down and motioned for me to come up to the surface.

I spent 5 minutes convincing Betty Blue that she could do this. I did think she could do it but I also needed her to do it because if she couldn’t complete this exchange today, I’d have to go back into the water at some future point and do this all over again. And I wanted it over with.

Betty Blue agreed to try again and I emphasized that we had to go even slower and we had to stop whenever there was even a little bit of stress. Nothing was as important as air and if it took us all day to complete this exchange, then that was fine as long as we were both getting enough air.

So, we started over from the beginning.

The second round was much better. We stopped after every exchange and just breathed. Once we got into the rhythm of passing the reg back and forth, it was easy. Inhale deep, pass the reg, exhale slow and take something off. Pass pieces back and forth, get the reg, inhale really deep, pass the reg, exhale slow, stop, breathe, take off something else. Once we got it, we had no trouble. The last piece of the puzzle was figuring out how to get Betty Blue’s BCD on her while keeping our shared reg from tangling around her and then we went for a short swim and then we were done and we got a 5.

There’s no elation like passing this test, I’ll just tell you that. It’s a pure adrenaline rush to finish and have done well.

Skills and Stamina Tests: Completed.

Dive Master Swim and Stamina Testing

Much like the Open Water certification, dive master trainees have to prove a certain level of physical fitness to proceed with DMT training. These skills involve a 400meter swim, an 800meter snorkel, a 15-minute float, a 100meter tired diver tow and an equipment exchange. There are a possible 5 points given for each skill – based on competency or time, depending on the skill – and DMT candidates have to have a collected 15 points to pass.

The 800m-snorkel part of the test is much like diving since it involves fins and a mask. We started with this part of the test and even though I was in an ocean bay and had to occasionally avoid getting hit by a boat, I did well and completed it in just over 16 minutes, scoring a 4 out of 5. For all you curious DMTs out there, I’ll pass on the advice I received: My instructor recommended that I pace myself for the first 600 meters and then go for broke on the last 200 and she also reminded me that snorkels don’t completely clear exhaled air so I should occasionally purge hard to release any stale CO2 and to get maximum oxygen input. I’d say this snorkel was hard but it was nothing compared to the swimming.

I haven’t done any swimming since college. Diving is not swimming. At all. Diving is propelling yourself slowly through water using your legs while wearing buoyant devices. This is not swimming. And even though I knew I’d have to pass a swim test, I still didn’t do any swimming practice.

To all future DMTs, I suggest you practice swimming. Swimming’s hard. Even for 400 meters. And it’s especially hard if you’ll have to do it, like we did, in the open ocean. 400 meters is only about a quarter of a mile and it’s half the distance of the snorkel but it took me 12.5 minutes to complete it.

800 meters snorkeling in just over 16 minutes and 40 meters swimming in 12.5 minutes? This makes no sense but it does prove that I’m a bad swimmer and it got me a 2 out of 5. I was pretty angry with myself and my lack of swimming preparedness but rather than immediately repeat the test, I decided to get through the rest of the skills and assess my score. Either way, I figured it wouldn’t hurt me to practice swimming since I hate doing badly at important things.

The 15-minute floating/treading water was a breeze (scored a 5) but I found the tired diver tow to be harder than it seems. There are two methods of towing a tired diver: swimming alongside them holding onto their tank valve and pulling them with you or propping their fins on your shoulders and pushing them ahead of you. After some discussion with my instructors, I wanted to try swimming alongside the diver and pulling them because it sounded like it would go faster.

WRONG. It took me 3.5 minutes to go 100 meters. Pulling someone dressed in full scuba gear by holding onto their tank valve is very hard to do because your body is alongside theirs. Your fins run into them, your one pulling arm gets tired and you want to switch sides, which wastes time, and it’s inefficient because your head is out of the water and increases drag. It’s just not good. It’s a fine towing method if you aren’t on a time constraint, the diver isn’t in distress and you want to stay in communication with them but it’s a terrible method if they’re unconscious, not breathing or you’re being timed.

So, I took a short break and repeated the test using the pushing method and knocked a full minute off my time. 2.5 minutes to push someone 1oo meters vs. 3.5 minutes to pull them 100 meters. That’s a dramatic difference and gave me a 4 out of 5, which was a total of 15 points so it didn’t actually matter what my score was on the equipment exchange because I’d pass either way.

The equipment exchange was the scariest test in the whole bunch so I’ll save it for tomorrow. It deserves it’s own post.

A hot mess of a night dive

I’ve been so remiss about posting. I promise to get better about that. Cross my heart.

Meanwhile, here’s a small window in my diving life tonight.

I did a night dive tonight – sigh. I hate night dives. I know… I know… there’s cool stuff! It only comes out at night! It’s dark! It’s fun! Whatever!

Here’s my two cents: PEOPLE PLEASE STOP REQUESTING NIGHT DIVES BECAUSE I HATE THEM. I HAVE TO GO BECAUSE I’M A DMT BUT I’M ALWAYS COLD AND HUNGRY. OK? THANK YOU.

I went out with Da Bull and a family that’s been diving with us for a week. Between you and me, I just… wish they would leave. I don’t care for them, on the surface or under it. I don’t like how they talk to each other, I don’t enjoy the way they can’t listen or follow directions and diving with them is like corralling chickens.

At any rate, we got them off the boat, finally, and then I turned into the biggest freaking hot mess getting in the water. I tossed in my gear  so I could gear up in the water, leaned over the side of the boat and dropped one of my fins. Then I had to jump in with one fin in my hand, grab my other fin, stick them under my arm and chase down my gear  with my small ineffectual feet as it floated away in the current.

Once I caught it, I had to figure out how to proceed. Put on my gear or put on my fins? I was wearing 2 wetsuits and 10 pounds of lead and had no fins so every three seconds, my head went under water, which would seem to argue for the fins.

I tried holding onto my gear to keep me afloat and putting on my fins, but didn’t have enough hands for that. Then I tried sitting on my gear and putting on my fins and couldn’t quite manage that balancing act either because as soon as I leaned down to reach my foot I fell off my gear. Then I had to get into my gear, in current while holding onto my fins, switching them from hand to hand and eventually that worked, by which point I had to get my fins on in a hurry so I could kick back to the group by which point I was out of breath from all the struggle and was sure I looked like a total idiot.

Got myself mostly under control, worked my flashlight out from my BCD pocket, turned it on and got 10 feet under and it died and wouldn’t turn on again. Had to chase down Da Bull to get his spare light at which point I felt something weird happening at my left elbow and realized that my safety sausage had decided to unroll itself and trail behind me. Had to juggle my flashlight while I rolled it up in the dark, feeling for the Velcro and trying not to drop the reel at the same time, keeping one eye on all the rest of the flashlights that were taking off away from me and about the point that I finally attached it to my BCD, I realized why I was having so much trouble seeing. I’d lost my hair tie realized I’d lost my hair tie and my hair was going everywhere so I tried to tuck it under my mask strap and checked my air and realized this whole struggle had cost me 200 PSI in about 10 minutes.

This is also the dive that Da Bull informed me he thinks I’m overweighted by like a billion pounds. He says I dive kicking upright and it’s inappropriate for a DMT. He’s not wrong. He softened it slightly by saying that I have low body fat and dense muscle so I need less lead than your average woman my height. I think in the history of my life I’ve never had anyone tell me I have low body fat so I should probably marry him immediately. Regardless, he came up behind me at a certain point and inflated my BCD for me.

Ridiculous.

We saw a bunch of octopus and bioluminescence for days,  but who cares after all that, right?

100 dives today

I’ve seen a lot of Open Water students come through the shop in the past few weeks and watched them fumble around with their gear, put their regulators on the tanks upside down, barrel up and down through the water, inflating their BCDs to bursting and then plummeting onto the sand. At the end of the dive, they pull out their little logbooks, open to the first page and document everything, asking about depths and times and what the name of the dive site was again. I’m sure they look around the shop at those of us working here and wonder how long it takes to get to the point where they could set up a tank in their sleep, dive for longer than 30 minutes and stay neutrally buoyant without crashing into something.

I still remember my very first dive 4 years ago up in the Pacific Northwest. The water was 46F degrees, I wore a dry suit, my fingers were practically frozen despite my gloves and the water was so cloudy that we couldn’t see further than 5 feet in any direction. I pulled out my old logbook and looked at that first dive and for the description I’d written “Crappy visibility. Overweighted.” That pretty much says it all. I didn’t get into exclamations points until my third dive (buoyancy!) and I didn’t dive in warm water until my 10th dive when I dove Seal Island in San Carlos, Mexico. I vividly remember those early Mexico dives because I saw my very first wild seahorse and I got to dive with sea lions zooming around me like golden bullets. I’ve never gone back to cold water.

I did my 100th dive today. The Caribbean sea was flat, the sun was shining, the water was the deepest blue with visibility for days and I can now hover at any depth without effort. My dive skills are a far cry from my beginning open water days but I can look back and see that journey from there to here. What I can’t remember, even though it only ended a few weeks ago, is what it felt like to be a fun diver.

Back in the day when I was a fun diver (lo those 3 weeks ago), I never ever worried about anything except myself. I rarely set up my own gear, I kept an eye on my diving buddies but I didn’t pay them a lot of mind and if pressed I couldn’t tell you how many other people were in my diving groups. I just didn’t pay any attention. I remember my divemasters from various dives, I remember sights and animals and wrecks and cool caverns but I took very little personal responsibility for my diving and I was lucky enough to have uncomplicated diving experiences where nothing serious happened.

I’ll never get to dive like that again. If there’s one thing that’s changed in these weeks of DMT training, it’s the way that I approach diving. Every time I get in the water, I’m thinking about the group I’m diving with, how they dive and where they might need help. I’m thinking about my technical skills, my air consumption, my buoyancy and where we’re going (more or less in that order). I’m trying to learn dive sites and marine life in case I ever have to lead dives in these places or answer questions. I’m trying to figure out how a DM manages to put together a dive profile that suits the site and the abilities of the group, figures out where they’re going and how to get back to the boat, lets all of that go enough to look around and find cool stuff and marine life that the diving customers might otherwise miss and does it all within an hour or so without GPS or talking (two things I can’t generally can’t survive without when I’m on the surface).

It’s a lot of stuff to learn but mostly, I’m adjusting my mindset. I’ve let go of the idea that it’s just me, in the water, doing my own thing and letting someone else handle everything else. Now I’m training to be that person that handles everything else. From here on out, whether I work in the dive industry or not, I’ll never just be a fun diver. I’ll always be paying attention and that means I’ll always be somewhat responsible. It changes everything.

Rescue diver skills in action

I got to see some fierce rescue skills in action the other day when a tall athletic looking guy and his even taller blond girlfriend came into our shop and bought a dive package. He was advanced and she was a beginner and neither one of them had been in the water in over a year. Let’s call them Hans and Maria.

Hans and Maria had no gear of their own and wanted to rent everything from us so I started handing out gear and right away Hans had problems. I gave him a weight belt with 12lb on it and he handed it back to me and said he wanted smaller weights that he could put in the pockets of his BCD. Well, no. Sorry. There’s no way I’m putting weights in the nonintegrated BCD of a diving customer I don’t know and risk having to fish around to find them if something goes wrong.

Hans argued with me but Bella, another DM at our shop, backed me up, told him he couldn’t put weight in his pockets and gave him a different belt with a bunch of small weights on it to pacify him. He wasn’t happy with the belt and only got more difficult in the boat, arguing with Bella and I about how to gear up, whether or not to tuck in his SPG etc. while Maria sat by quietly without saying anything. When they were both in the water and Bella sighed and said “Let’s keep an eye on them.”

The dive briefing had been clear that Ted the DM was leading the dive, everyone should stay with their buddies and follow Ted except Bella and I came down after everyone else and just in time to see Ted go one way while Hans went another way, leaving Maria about 50ft behind him. Bella watched Hans swim away and had just looked at me with her hands up like “where is he going?” when suddenly Maria started thrashing around and I saw her regulator fly out of her mouth.

For you non-divers, the regulator is where the air comes from and without a regulator divers breathe seawater. That doesn’t go well. Sometimes a regulator fails so every diver has an alternate and they’re taught how to recover a lost regulator and how to use their alternate air source in their very first open water skills class. The tricky part is not freaking out in order to remember those things because the other option is to react like Maria did, go into a blind freakout, think only “AIR AIR AIR AIR AIR,” locate the source of the nearest regulator and then claw at that person’s face and try to pull their regulator out of their mouth so you can use it.

That’s panic. It’s not pretty.

In Maria’s case, the nearest person happened to be Bella, who’s a new DM that has never had to legitimately use her rescue skills before but this was a textbook panicked diver and she handled it perfectly. Bella kicked away slightly to keep Maria from grabbing her, guarded her own reg while grabbing her alternate, shoved it into Maria’s face right side up and then grabbed Maria’s BCD to keep her from ascending as she hyperventilated into it. Amazing.

Maria took several breaths and then gestured “up, up, up” and that’s when Bella was a real rockstar. She held onto Maria, made fierce eye contact, shook her head, made long steady “calm down, breathe in, breathe out” motions with her hands and then hovered there for several seconds, breathing with her until Maria started to calm down. Conveniently, this was also the exact moment that Hans showed back up from his little tour of the reef with no idea that there were any problems at all. He flashed everyone the OK sign and Maria hesitated but gave it back to him. OK.

At this point, Maria was calm enough to switch to her own regulator. Bella made “go diving?” motions with her fingers and Maria hesitated again and then nodded, for which I give her mad props. Bella adjusted her buoyancy and then let her go after motioning to Hans that he needed to stay with her. Maria shakily kicked away from us and Hans followed her for about .2 seconds before he took off in another direction. Bella actually had her hands on her hips in what I’ll describe as an adrenaline fueled furious hover as she watched him swim away. I was merely incredulous. That guy. What a piece of work.

Maria did a short dive before running out of air so Bella took her up early, which gave them a chance to debrief. Hans heard all about the regulator mishap when the rest of us got to the surface. He seemed slightly apologetic and stayed closer to Maria on the second dive, during which she had no problems. I hope it occurs to her to thank Bella at some point down the line for keeping her at depth during that first dive. If Bella had let her go up, chances are good Maria’s fear would have kept her out of the water for a long time afterwards. Maybe forever.

But Hans wasn’t quite done annoying us because he and Maria both showed up the next day to dive with our most experienced dive guide, Da Bull. Da Bull is a big burly guy who’s lived on this island for 12 years. He’s a spectacular diver, he knows the island dive sites inside and out, he always finds cool stuff and he knows how to keep a group together. Hans mostly behaved himself until the end of the dive when Da Bull called a safety stop at which point Hans shook his head and pointed to his gauge. He had more air, he wanted to keep diving. Da Bull said no and made the safety stop motion again and Hans turned around and started swimming away.

Yeah, he totally did that.

Well, in our shop we offer guided dives. The divemaster says go up, everyone goes up. No questions. If you don’t like it, go rent a tank and do your own thing but don’t come to our shop and disrespect our guides. Thank God Hans did that to Da Bull who was big enough to be on him like a flash. Da Bull grabbed Hans by his BCD, hauled him to 5 meters, gave him one look and the safety stop motion and Hans nodded and stayed put until everyone broke the surface. Hans played it off and Da Bull let him and we haven’t had any problems with Hans since.

Sometimes you think things can go unsaid but you’re wrong. So, as a note to future divers with us, all we require is that you follow the leader and don’t leave your girlfriends to die.

Is that so hard?